18 Travel Tips While They’re Fresh in My Head

I am back from an amazing trip with the boys – truly thought provoking, relaxing, funny, lip smacking foods, awe inspiring. 

 Stonehenge Tour © 2015, Abe Pachikara (Click for larger image)

1. Know your co-travelers well. Travel is a stylistically specific action. Preferences can matter - - a LOT - - like museums vs. parks, late nights vs. mornings, fancy restaurants vs. street food. Good to know up front.
2. More important than packing, check NOW that passports are valid, and visas are secured. Few things will cause stress like discovering late in the game than a passport which needs to be renewed with little or no time left. I sure didn’t enjoy that one.
3. Have a particular desired outcome & focus. Learn about a new place? Relax and do nothing? Learn while relaxing? Knowing what you have in mind will make the rest of the planning and the actual trip so much more enjoyable.
4. Choose where you spend money mindfully. Breakfast at the flat, sandwiches for lunch, then a more decent dinner was a good habit. Go back to what you had in mind overall, pick a few non-trivial excursions or events, put your money there.  King’s Cross Station © 2015, Abe Pachikara (Click for larger image)            
5. Find great discounts. Finding deals and discounts was very helpful, like free kids offers, round trip discounts, off-peak train rates. As example, for one day the tickets to Mama Mia had 1st child free and the 2nd one for 50% off. And the Capital One card enables you to apply points against ANY travel purchase, shaving a lot of your costs.
6. Mix it up. In this visit one of my goals was to introduce my boys to a range of aspects of London & the UK, in a mere week. So, we found a balance between museums vs parks, city vs. countryside, meeting people vs. on our own.
7. Be mindful of time durations. Getting from A to B will have a few different steps including ones we won't know till we are in the middle of it. So be observant of how long something may take, and how much interest among us, or significance it bears towards the underlying tenets.
8. Come equipped for the whole day. Assume you will be out the whole day. Then think about food, extra shoes, outerwear, and tupperware to protect sandwiches. Bringing an extra set of shoes for Paul was a real win one day.
9. Push on the 80/20 rule for camera equipment. I am shocked how good the current small cameras can be. Shocked. A 14 ounce Lumix LX100 swapped out about 10 pounds of gear.
10. Have a bag count. I am always worried when we are on the move about leaving an item behind. Peace of mind came from clarifying who has what, then counting and re-counting - - somewhat obsessively - - as we board and disembark the planes, take taxis, subways trains, etc.
11. Mornings matter. Every major museum, market or other icon is overwhelmed by 1 pm, but remarkably uncrowded in the mornings. Relaxed store keepers, greater selection, less obstructed views of the sights & items you came to see. Natural History Museum © 2015, Abe Pachikara (Click for larger image)
12. Pace yourself. Routinely ask “How are we doing?” Stop, sit around. Get a bite.
13. Be decisive about buying gifts. Before you know it, the trip will be over. So if there is a craft market, go there early in your trip. Think of folks back home, and don’t wait until the trip’s end, or risk picking up cheesy gift shop trinkets.
14. Public transportation is way easier than initial perception. Even the bus was a snap after the first ride, and the first try is the important one. Plus, contrary to the US, the infrastructure is very extensive.
15. Try a new eatery each night. Even when you come across an AMAZING place, don't go back as there is a whole sea of remarkable food options.
16. Throw a duffle bag in your luggage. Just in case you pick up more items than your current luggage can hold, a duffle can come in very handy. Particularly to keep below max weight limits that can be more pricey than a 2nd bag fee.
17. Choose a 787? Theory has it that higher air pressure and more humidity in an airplane cabin = less jet lag. Of course, this could be hooey from Boeing.  The carbon fiber body of their beleagured jet may have helped us transition.
18. Equip each child with contact info. My worst case scenario? Getting separated from the children. And more so for them than for me. So load info and apps that can help on your kids’ smartphones
• Whatsapp will work anywhere as long as you have wifi, and let kids call people around the world
• Load contact info for people both locally and “back home”
• Add calendar a invite with addresses of local friends, and your own flat
• Don’t forget the phone number of local police – a great idea from my friend Gary Ballesteros

 Big Ben © 2015, Abe Pachikara (Click for larger image)

Hand of God – Guiding My Detroit Rolling Iron

I can look back and see explicit examples where nothing other than the hand of God ensured my well being.  Here’s one.

I had just finished grad school and had capped off my college days with a late night at the Chicago Blues Festival with my good friend Gunter Frank, who was a med student on a visiting rotation from Heidelberg.  I absolutely needed to drive the 350 miles down to Southern Illinois in the morning, as the next day I had a flight out of St. Louis to Hong Kong and then India for 3 months of vacation.  So on less than 5 hours of sleep, I happily loaded my capacious 1978 Olds 98 with my most precious grad student belongings and sundries, (photos, camera, stereo, albums, clothes) and an antique full-sized bed frame and headboard (that literally fit in the back seat, such was the volume of this ship I drove).  I then pointed pointed my Detroit rolling iron homeward down Interstate 57.  In front of me, both good and bad, was flat, boring, straight lengths of highway.

100 miles into the trip, I could feel the waves of sleep suddenly coming on.  My friends used to call me “narc” as we all thought I had some manner of narcolepsy, so quickly could I fall asleep.  (In truth, it was probably a simple case of sleep deprivation.)  The next exit was about 10 miles away where a coffee would “fix” this issue with a vengeance.  Time for some defensive maneuvers: dial up the radio; light up the rare cigarette; partially roll down the windows on the right so that a cool wind hits the back of my head.  I continued to barrel along at 75 miles an hour, familiar with the conflict underway.

But I lost this one.

As I approached the intersection in mind, I slipped off to sleep.  The car, being essentially a living room on wheels, ever so slowly drifted to the right and into what should have been the shoulder of the highway.  But that very exit I was looking for was upon me.  So the car was lined up with the now widening road.  I awoke just as the exit rose upward, and curved dramatically rightward.  Now things got surreal.  The car shot off the road, down a long embankment, and like a curling rock, slowly rotated right ward in the soft muddy dirt below  The tall wild grass was madly slapping the window to my left as the 98 slid sideways.  I was creating a 25 foot wide swath in the foliage.  Inside the car, I witnessed a slow swirl of clothes, record albums, photos, books.  My material life was being stirred like a martini.

As quickly as this all started it was over.  Silence in the car. A quiet rustling of the wild grass.  The hiss of cars zipping by on the highway.  I had narrowly and completed averted a catastrophe.  To my left was the overpass for this exit – with unforgiving concrete walls and pillars that had been avoided.  In front of me, literally 200 feet away, a diner with a large “Fresh Coffee” sign.  I sheepishly walked trudged thru the soft mud from a recent rain and into the diner.

“Uh, can you get me a tow truck?”  Your car break down or run out of gas?  “Well no, i just drove it into that field by your exit ramp,” I said, feeling phenomenally idiotic.  A friend of the guy behind the counter leaned forward, You fall asleep?  The guy behind the counter jumped in, Don’t ask that! Why are you pokin’ around for?  With a big grin, the buddy said, Shit I did that last year, just wanted to know.

The rest of the journey was uneventful.  I caught my flight from St. Louis to Asia the next day.  But only due to the divine providence that helped keep me in this current life.  Hard to believe my good fortunes.

Polishing Diamonds: Never Order From the Kid’s Menu

How often have you seen the following:  You are at a capable restaurant, with a menu renowned far and wide.  But you notice the younger ones at the party next to you are eating chicken nuggets.  From the kitchen freezer! Prepared in a microwave!  Not the salmon cooked to a delectable nuance.  Nor beef from some remote grassy pasture, or mushrooms good enough for a sitting president.

Funny part is that we are at our most malleable when we are young.  Yet we all too often pass on the chance to create a transcontinental palette in our children due to some queasy look they had at some misty point in the past.  Rather than keeping a firm hand on the tiller, we retreat for frozen lunch food.  Had Tiger Woods dad asked Tiger at the age of 2 what he thought of golf (remarkably, Earl started Tiger down this avenue before Tiger was two) the mystified look of the baby would have killed the whole venture before it has started.

So nudge them into the culinary unknown. Talk of what they will see in Kyoto and have them try Tempura.  Discuss Gaudi’s grand architecture and order up the Tortilla Espanola.  Before you know it, they will be perusing the menu, calling out combinations they like and what to try next.  And you will have broadened their world well before their first excursion across the ocean

Coming to America, (cont’d)

A follow-up to this post…

Sometimes one’s pen and paper captures their voice well. All too often what drove the clarity in the writing is a powerful topic. Below is a letter from my dad along with my 1st passport that he dug up and sent to me. The passport was originally needed so I could be chaperoned by an Air India hostess from Cochin, Kerala, India to JFK, NYC in May of 1966. It was shortly before my 4th birthday and it was the 1st time we were meeting, as my dad had left India when my mom was 7 months pregnant to land an elusive surgical residency in the US. My mom joined a couple of years later and I was expertly taken care of by grandparents who had raised a whopping 21 children between them. My dad's letter goes as follows:

Murphsyboro, Oct/31/2009

Dear Santhosh,

Enclosed is your first passport. I remember coming to JFK Airport to take you to Cleveland. I was waiting on a balcony of JFK airport. I saw you coming down the staircase from Air India holding the hand of the air hostess who was assigned to you. You were walking into the airport on the ground. Dr. Sebastian and Shanti were with me at the that time.

When you came out of the customs you were weeping saying “that man took away my peraka” (Goa fruit). Ammachi gave a few Goa fruits to you in a bag to eat on the way. They were grown on the Thodupuzha property. No fruits could be taken into the U.S.A. by law.

I gave you a small electric car and you were very happy. We flew to Cleveland.

Dad

A mountainous moment in my life, to say the least. But arguably a bigger day for the more aware and nuanced parent of the toddler. God bless moms and dads, and the many sacrifices they make for their families’ futures, eh?

My 1st Passport… and Visa…

Location Certainly Helps

One common observation about the great cities of the world - - more often than not they are located in some notable place, or have made greatness out of that place. San Francisco. Hong Kong. NYC. Paris. London.

And Chicago.

The shoreline of Lake Michigan is one of the many mesmerizing parts of this grand metropolis. As example: Montrose Harbor, with its dreamy southern view of the skyline - literally miles of towering residential buildings marching off until they meet up with the downtown skyline. Go there on a slightly rainy, foggy evening and it will take your breath away. That is in part why I proposed to Molly at this fine location.

Here's Paul and Susie Auntie just relaxing and letting the serenity of Montrose harbor steep into their constitutions.


Pondering the Expanse...
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2008 (click for larger image)


Buddies...
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2008 (click for larger image)

Mystical Land

How often do we live in one locale and actually neglect exploring its environs, only to move far, far away and years later, pay the price of time and money to journey to the SAME ORIGINAL place as an outsider, to finally make that day trip? What an odd behavior, no?

Here is a set of images of "Rattlesnake Ledge," stitched together, that is a mere 20 minutes drive, 2 miles walk, and 1,100 feet in elevation from our house. Just magical. Probably even more dreamy in the rain, mist and fog.


Taking in the vista...
- -Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2008 (click for larger image)

Uncaged Ideas

Sometimes the only way one realizes you've been "seeing the same old thing" is when you finally bump into a completely different, even outlandish, solution to the same problem. The City Museum in St. Louis, MO does this when it comes to children's museums (www.citymuseum.org). The hum drum children's museum solution has the same building blocks: train section; water works; kitchen; some manner of playground.

The City Museum breaks so many rules! For example:

• Don't obsess if what you create will nick / bruise the participant. Many of the exhibits just may scuff the knees and elbows, but how is that different from life in general (other than needing some excellent lawyers to protect your good work)
• Don't explain. There are many places where things are presented, like cavities that either weave their way into serpentine ceiling or basement passage ways for people to discover on their own
• Your best items are under your nose. Brilliantly, the museum staff scavenges old buildings about to be torn down for artifacts that create a rich tapestry of widgets, furnishings and exercises. For example, 2 spiral staircases that tightly wind upwards for 4 stories, sandwiching a spiral suitcase chute that looks like an Alice in Wonderland passage back to the bottom
  
• Non-child items may work phenomenally. You are thunderstruck by what you see, and after a moment it is so obvious why kids love the experience. Below are images of catwalks 3 stories above the ground, connecting to gutted learjets that are then interconnected by suspended bridges to each other and to a slide that takes you whizzing back down.
• Retain creative control. You've seen it before, be it Bramante, Michelangelo, or Jobs. One person with a vivid idea and uncompromising desire to see it come thru. In this case, it is sculptor Bob Cassilly who is fervently adding to the current work in progress.
  

The City Museum is a great lesson for anyone wanting to retool their view of what a fresh solution can look like. A close, analytically minded visit is among the best forms of adult education one can sign up for.


1. Catwalk to the Jets 2. Jet #1 (notice mesh bridge coming out of the cockpit)
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2008 (click for larger image)


Jet #2 (notice suspended bridge in background)
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2008 (click for larger image)


Colorful Spinning Bannister
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2008 (click for larger image)

Going to America

Going to America- -
Malayalam Manorama, Copyright 1966 (click for larger image)

Knowing the implications of our very next endeavor can be impossible to know. Which, often, is for the better.

Back in 1962, when my mom was 6 months pregnant with me, the University of Edinburgh extended a slot to my dad for their surgical training program. Dad was thrilled to secure a competitive admission to one of the great institutions of the UK.

A great adventure began. Deeper into the world of medicine. Far away to a new continent, by air to London, then the famous Flying Scotsman train to Edinburgh. A new culture, new people, new life style. Oh my, oh my.

He fully intended to return armed with new knowledge to take a teaching post in Kerala, a lush coastal state in India. But once in Edinburgh, the faculty urged him to "go to Chicago" for hard core trauma experience, in a surgical residency.

So he shared the long term value of such a move with my mom, changed plans and sojourned to the Windy City. When I was around 2, my mom joined him and I was dotingly taken care of by my grandparents, particularly my mom's parents, I believe. Finally, just before turning 4, my father insisted that I join them in the U.S.

Given the price of air travel, the most prudent option was to arrange for Air India flight staff to chaperone me all the way to JFK. My dad's father, Chachen, a PR minded trial lawyer, implored the largest local paper to "see" the editorial opportunity right under their noses: the youngest Indian to EVER travel to America was leaving in 2 weeks. This idea sold its way on to the front page. That is the photo seen above.

 

Just a couple of years ago one of my dad's sisters, Baby Auntie, shared more details of the actual day of departure. In truth, the excursion was probably pretty unpleasant (for me, that is). I was under the impression that all my dad's siblings, and his parents, were getting on the airplane with me. As my dad's family has 14 children and he is the 2nd oldest, many of these siblings were not much older than me - - and we played together all the time. So what a fantastic idea! Getting on a jet plane, with all of them?? I was out of my mind excited at such a prospect. My aunts and uncles were mortified by the reality, and no one explained what was about to happen. I was a bit puzzled when only Chachen walked on to the 707 with me. Shortly after the stairway was rolled away, they brought it back.

"This child is making a ridiculous fuss. He can't fly with us. No way." Having anticipated something a problem, Chachen purchased a big bag of colorful candy and walked back on board. He applied his charm and experience convincing juries, and convinced me to stay. Of course, the candy played a big role too. Damn that candy.

Side note: I do love air travel which I don’t understand. Shouldn’t I hate it? Perhaps it is the fact I had amazing family at both ends of the journey?

 

Upon landing in JFK, I vaguely recall a man walking up to me with a Tonka truck and saying, "Santhosh, I am your daddy." It was our first meeting. I was about to turn 4. What an unforgettable moment, particularly for Dad, eh?

 

Often, I have reflected on the sheer sacrifice my parents made. And the sacrifice made by parents across time. As I have two boys, one nearly 6 and one who is 4 1/2, the notion that I see them for the first time at such an age is breathtaking.

What if Dad had known that his 6 month program in Scotland would "take him 4 years forward" before he saw his child? I am not so sure he would have boarded that first flight. Nor reaped the benefits of that action for himself, his family and his many siblings. But we cannot see what the future holds. All too often, that may be for the better in the long run.

First Passport Photo 
India Passport Agency, Copyright 1966 (click for larger image)

The Moveable Priest

Unfortunately in some respects, "church," in my head, is something that occurs in a big, fixed, specialized, largely single-use structure that sits out on its own. This notion has been turned upside down (only) twice at this point, and by the same priest. Stephen Uncle, here all the way from Nairobi, ended the wedding weekend by presiding over a quiet reflective function at Asha's house. 3 years ago, I attended a similar function that he presided over at a family reunion at Sunil's house. In both instances, I wondered how many (or few) people realized how easy it is, in some respects, to conduct mass outside a church. I for one, was quite surprised, in both instances.


Mass at home - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2007 (click for larger image)


Mass at home - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2007 (click for larger image)

The Wistful Ways of The Washington Coast

We had the treasured opportunity to go to the lush western Washington forests and nearby coasts with my mom and dad. How remarkable. These were forests that felt right out of Lord of the Rings. Trees that had presided over hundreds of migration cycles. Sea spires that had meditated for millenniums and were the wiser. It was humbling to see the excessive beauty of the land. Here's a few shots from a lazy day at one of the beaches near Forks.


Grandfather Tree Watches On - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2007 (click for larger image)


Trail down to the ocean - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2007 (click for larger image)


Onward down the trail - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2007 (click for larger image)


Trekking with appa - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2007 (click for larger image)


Sea spires watch over us - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2007 (click for larger image)


Lunch with mom - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2007 (click for larger image)


Tossing driftwood back into the sea - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2007 (click for larger image)


Paul @ 5 - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2007 (click for larger image)


Sidd @ 4 - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2007 (click for larger image)


Playing by the shoreline - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2007 (click for larger image)


Parting shot - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2007 (click for larger image)

Modes of Transportation, Part 1

No longer strapped into a car seat, Paul takes it all in - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2005 (click to enlarge image)

The India trip presented a fantastic opportunity to try out quite an array of transportation for two reasons: 1) both our boys have a fascination with any manner of transport; 2) compared to being tied down by a 5 point harness, in a rigid car seat, in the belly of a mini-van, 3rd world travel is about as untethered (and therefore exhilarating) as it gets.

The first real chance occurred one Saturday morning, when my Uncle Jose dropped my 2 ½ year old Paul and myself at the local train station. We caught the “Chennai Mail” as it passed through Kottayam (coming from none other than Chennai and zipping towards Trivandrum) and jumped off 30 minutes later in Changanacheri. After a brief wait, we got on board a local train heading back to Kottayam.

For Paul that was all that was needed. The relatively brief interaction provided enough to chew on without physically taxing his constitution. He was: mystified by the train's inside (as all the books had only schooled him on the outside); enthralled by the sights; and intrigued in particular by the sounds and smells as tropical trains have portals with bars rather than the sealed panes of glass you see on U.S. and Canadian trains.

We also had the terrific luck on getting on at the station where a couple of thousand Hindu pilgrims disembarked as part of an annual trek to Sabarimala (http://www.sacredsites.com/asia/india/sabarimala.html). They left the train adorned in flowers, providing me with a truly vivid example of the prominent role that religion plays in daily life of this nation.

The Chennai Mail, addorned in flowers by Sabarimala pilgrims - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2005 (click to enlarge image)

The idyllic countryside races by - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2005 (click to enlarge image)

Our train continues onward - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2005 (click to enlarge image)

One Way to Boost Your Immunity

Who needs toys when you've got rocks! - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2005 (click to enlarge image)

Here is one of those local beliefs: If you are visiting from outside the country, you can expect to get a little sick, a little stung by critters, and have to put up with an “adjustment” phase.

Want to get this over with quick? Then rather than avoiding the elements, immerse yourself in them. For example, don’t have your children avoid the outside elements; rather, have them spend time playing just the way the locals do. Sure they may experience some initial discomforts, but they’ll certainly get tougher quicker.

Can I say this worked? I don’t really know. But once Sidd was introduced to all the fascinating things to be found outside the house, he was hooked. That is for certain.

Sidd get's cozy with the flora and fauna - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2005 (click to enlarge image)

Being a Mom Again

Jolly Auntie dotes over Nicole and Kevin - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2005 (click to enlarge image)

In general, I think it takes a hell of a lot more to go from an easy job to a hard job, than vice versa. Or maybe more accurately, from a role with fewer hassles to one with a lot more hassles. This is akin to north/south versus south/north migration: most (former) die-hard Canadians will tell you that it is easier to move from a cold place, like Ottawa, Canada, to a warm place like Atlanta, in the U.S. of A., than to move northward.

A second, complementary point is that being a grandmom must be great fun - - no more do you need to pour your energies into day-to-day tasks as you did a long time ago when you were a mom (washing, feeding, bathing, diapers, more diapers, disciplining, etc.)… now you get to dote over the grandkids, and take your best shot at spoiling them 10 different ways.

Now my Aunt Jolly has come full circle, as her son Russell and daughter-in-law Ligi will be in Toronto (as in Canada) for perhaps another year studying for their pharmacy certification. So Jollyauntie has stepped up and taken the role of “mom” again, and immersed herself in the tasks that come with this territory. You can see it is hard (any parent will grimace as s/he remembers the exhausting years when the kids were in that 1 to 4 year old range). Luckily for Russell and Ligi (and frankly for Nicole and Kevin too) Jollyauntie is one of those folks with a real verve, and this propels her through the each day with gusto and passion. It is one of those “2nd tours of duty,” one she enthusiastically embraces.

Nicole and Kevin pause for the camera - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2005 (click to enlarge image)

Spanning Generations

Ammachi's songs again capture the attention of 3 generations - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2005

Not everything about the extended family tradition is a good thing. For example, you may get less privacy than you want. And hence you may feel there are fewer things that one decides without a family committee.

However, some aspects of interacting with your extended family are priceless... You do get more exposed to the wisdom, broad perspectives and experiences of your elders when you are younger, and you do reduce the probabality of losing contact with younger kin and all their energy, (sometimes aggravating but signature) hubris and irrational optimism as you grow older.

One does not generally decide whether or not they will live in an "extended" or "nuclear" manner. More often than not, you are born into one of the two traditions and don't really experience the other except via a magazine article or similar reference. However, when you travel between cultures as different as that of the US to India, then you are traversing across these lines; perhaps, if you are lucky, you will get to see not only the parts that shock you but also the aspects which are a pleasant surprise.

Leaping Across Cultures

The newlyweds at their reception, surrounded by the camera and video crew - -
Abe Pachikara, Copyright 2005

The day we arrived in India, December 30th, was in part notable as it was the day that my cousin Sonya was married at the Little Flower Church in Ernakulam. Now, she was raised in Africa and then in the US, and for all intents and purposes is imbued with the ways of the Western pop culture. By that, in particular, I mean that getting married via the arranged marriage approach was not necessarily the most obvious or comfortable route. But that is the way she chose, with fabulous success (so far, I mean marriage is one of those things that needs a long timeframe before any real assessment can be made, if one can truly find a set of parameters with which to do so, right?).

And in marrying in this manner, she has expanded the possibilities that all her cousins may consider. Perhaps, it was a case of seeing how her older relatives were married, respecting who they were and how their marriages had shaped them, and therefore finding enough credence in this particular framework to consider it for herself, even if it was not part of the culture she was from.

We arrived in India the day of the wedding, and were only able to attend the reception. What we saw was a couple with the tired glow of newlyweds at the end of a seemingly interminable number of functions, now pleasantly tolerating the last of the hundreds of photos and the capture of hours / meters of video footage.