A friend and fellow cancer survivor, Leslie Tsui, mentioned to me that she had "set the record straight" with her kids after she was in remission. I loved that idea and shared the following my boys back in Sep 2019.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paul and Sidd, my adventure with cancer clarified that
only God knows what happens next. Therefore, I wanted to share some thoughts.
NOW. 😊
1.
Forgiveness: I
forgive you guys for anything you have done or will do.
2.
Luck: I
am luckier than I can ever have envisioned to have the blessing of being your
dad. Plus, I have been given the chance to live the years that are most
important to me – your childhood years. (At least most of them, and perhaps all
of them.) I am “biologically successful” and now I am shifting into the “bonus
years.” I always had a good feeling about being a father, but "good"
is a far cry from "sublime". I live in a province called Sublime.
3.
Support, part 1: I
support your life choices pretty much regardless what they are. The only catch:
think thru your choices, be purposeful. Some pathways are going to be very,
very hard. Your choices will span from: "longshots" with a lot of
potential upside on one end; to "sure things" with no stress on your
skills and talents, but little to no personal growth; to some pretty stupid
ones, but what to do? These choices can be hard to make, and harder to live by.
It's important to love yourself, to forgive yourself and to push yourself thru
all of it. We make the bed we sleep in. But I will support your choice.
4.
Support, part 2: I
hope you actively support each other too. Each of you is a treasure unto the
other. But, ONLY if you choose to do the required work to love each other. And
choose to watch each other’s back. Please do so. Too many people nowadays say
they are lonely but have forgotten their choice of not including family in
their own lives.
5.
Zero: I
have zero, truly zero, regrets of you guys as my sons. You guys “hang my moon.”
6.
Why me? If
anything, you should know on many occasions I have directly asked God why I was
given this treasure of fatherhood and to you two. I did not earn it, by any
means.
7.
Gratitude = personal teflon:
The greater your gratitude, the more unstoppable and indestructible you are. Create
your own "compass of gratitude" to outlast challenges in your life.
It’s easy. I call it the “Life is Epic” exercise. Make a list of
your “TTT”, that is, your Treasures
(things given to you without any work on your party), your Time (experiences from which you grew, be it
joyous ones or difficult ones), and Talents
(skills you personally worked on to make them better and better). Now make a
list of the setbacks that are on the same scale as your TTT. Compare the two.
If you did this in a rigorous manner, you will see your blessings far outstrip
your difficulties. That helps you remain open, optimistic & vulnerable.
8.
You, not them: Expect
a lot of yourself, and much less of others, and you will be a happy human
being. The only person we can be sure to order around, is ourselves.
9.
The secret is the present: Know
that, "Life's what happens now, while you, and anyone else, are making
plans." That's why the current moment is so important. It is all you
control. We can't change yesterday. We don't really know what tomorrow is going
to be about. Remember the words of Master Oogway:
“Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery,
and today is a gift...
that's why they call
it the present”
10. Be
abundant. It’s a life of abundance. And your generosity will feed
your own soul.
11. Breathe.
When things get hard, stop for a moment, and breathe 10 times, slowly.
With all my love, every moment of every day, Dad...
With all my love, every moment of every day, Dad...
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