Happy Holidays 2017!

Hi Folks,

I do hope this note finds you happy, healthy and ahead of your own gameplan.

Paul, 15, Sidd, 14 and me with my eyebrows again
Abraham Pachikara, Copyright 2017 (Click for larger image)

As some of you know, my dad passed away this past January 1. Hence, my Mom has been on the millennia-old journey of a spouse surviving a vibrant marriage, and now traveling without her longtime partner. When Dad was in his last months, she was resilient, focused and tough as nails. I think she is tougher now, although her gently delivered words will never betray this fact. Certainly, on many moments she is deeply wistful. Yet I watch in awe. As always, I thoroughly enjoy my time with her (a constant since I was a toddler), and one of 2017's pinnacles was when she joined Paul, Sidd and myself for a week in Rome and Florence. For this deeply passionate art lover, visits to the Uffizi and Vatican Museums only energized her while we were left exhausted. Mom's spunky 78 year old persona shone like a 19 year old art history major for that week. More broadly, in 2017 she's embraced the online world: not just such aspects as banking and utilities, but also presenting her art work via Saatchi Art such as this collection of landscapes. Her nimbleness and tenacity are deeply noticed by the boys.

Deforestation: My 2nd Quarterly Check-In

Dear Folks,

It's been a while since I sent an update - my bad.

Sometimes in life, winning bears great meaning.

Examples include: as an ex-con seeing your probation officer, a clean record has great implications; as a substance abuser checking in with your counselor, “no needle marks” prove the battle is being won; or as an alcoholic at your AA meeting, a dry patch is a hard earned chapter of clarity. In my case, it's as a cancer alum meeting with my oncology team. To not have a win means you will not be revisiting a rocky journey that could bring you asunder.

Chuttumbee #1 Turns 15

My Dearest Pablo,

15 years ago yesterday the earth trembled as God sent one of his emissaries down to Earth.

That would be you. Happy B'Day.

The time has hurtled by and each year as we come upon your B'Day I am always deeply moved by how much, in one mere year, you change and your situation changes. Overall I get the sense high school has been a good thing for you, and that people (for example from the XC and robotics teams) enjoy and look forward to your presence among them. Shockingly, you are even leaner than a year ago ( I did not think that was possible) and you are DEFINITELY more sinewy and stronger - thanks to the entirely different level of athleticism from Coach Brad and the time and effort you have invested.

 
A Good Day
Abraham Pachikara, Copyright 2017 (Click for larger image)

Deforestation: Epilogue, Perhaps?

Hi Folks!
This is the last note (God willing) related to cancer that I will be sending.
The regime of chemotherapy & radiation are complete, and the upshot: any malignant cells are "below detection." Don't be fooled - they are still around, probably numbering in the hundreds of millions, but within a being with ~40 trillion cells, it's a scattered minority. Nonetheless, for myself, that's good news on an intergalactic scale. Further, I am lucky enough to send out my own "final" note.

Thank You’s
The Dalai Lama once said, "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is a choice."  The tremendous support by all of you made it easy to not choose suffering. Here's a brief that is intended to be as inclusive as possible.

Slipping Past Corny Neufeld

In 8th grade I was one of the smallest kids among my peers, yet I loved sports. I was by no means brilliant at any of them, I just loved the comradery, the tension of winning and losing, and being out there with friends. So I was in every sport offered to us.

With one exception: ice hockey.

Deforestation: “Life is Epic” Exercise

Last May, when I learned I had a malevolent disease, one frightening thought kept floating back into my head: "gosh, this thing may kill me." But after a while, my fearful reaction surprised me. Of course, we all die. So what exactly made this news different? It was my assumption I would live long - to a 120 years specifically. One fact, one assumption and one aspiration had created more than an assumption, it had morphed into an unstated, firmly held belief.

Deforestation: Radiation Does its Damage

Hi Folks!

I do hope this note finds you in a good place. My PTCL-NOS journey has come to a notable place - the end of radiation. I am deeply, deeply blessed to be ending a round of cancer treatment alive and writing about it, no? What's left is recovery from the collateral damage, and smiling into the sunlight at the end of this tunnel.

Let's start with the all-important Thank Yous

Deforestation - Radiation Is Underway

Hi Folks and a belated Happy New Year!

My journey into the world of PTCL-NOS continues…

First off are the thank you's to for your full-court press against the invading malignancy…

• My parents and sisters, Cindy and Susan, and Susan's better half Chris.

A Pale Retelling of a Deeply Rich, Vibrant Life

I gave one of the eulogies at my dad’s funeral on Saturday, Jan 14, 2017. The event brought together aunts, uncles & cousins from both sides of the family, and long time friends.

Happy Holidays 2016

Hi Folks,

I have heard that ocean waves come in sets of 7. Whether true or not, I think some years of our lives are certainly bigger than others. 2016 was one of them.

3 quotes have been floating around in my head in looking at the year:

Deforestation - Choosing New Weaponry

Hi Folks!

My journey into the world of T-cell lymphoma enters the next leg…

First off are the thank you's for your full-court press against the invading malignancy to…

Deforestation #6 is Here, Finally!

Hi Folks,

Here's another check-in about my "Unintended Journey." Today, Thursday 10/13, is the 6th and possibly final full blown infusion of chemo (C.H.O.P.) and trial drug.

Thank you's are the important place to start…

Deforestation #5 is Happening Now!

Hi Folks,

Here's another check-in about my "Unintended Journey." Today, Thursday 9/22, is the 5th full blown infusion of chemo (C.H.O.P.) and trial drug.

Thank you's are the important place to start… (it's easy to assume the good things in life, no?)

Paul's Views of A Marriage

Mom and Dad had been at my place for a total of 40 days during my lymphoma treatment, which provided a peerless opportunity for Paul at 14 to spend time with them. Daily walks around the neighborhood. Meals. Conversations sitting around the back porch. Errands to the grocery store. Everyday tasks can be the best.

Deforestation #4 is here!

Here's another check-in about my "Unintended Journey." Today, Friday, was the 4th full blown infusion of chemo (C.H.O.P.) and trial drug.

Thank you's are the important place to start…

• Again to my parents who have been watching close over the treatment, running the household and raising clarifying questions.

Deforestation #3 is Here!

Hi Folks,

Here's another check-in about the "Unintended Journey" I am on, as today is the 3rd full blown infusion of chemo and trial drug.

Thank you's are again in order to so very many people…

Deforestation Round #2 is Around the Corner

Hi Folks,

Here's a check in about the "Unintended Journey" as I have called this sojourn into the world of cancer. (Another, perhaps more fitting name is "The Deforestation" as I do think disruptive events make one remove at least some of the clutter in our life and our views.)

Deforestation #1 – Here we go!

Hi Folks,

Looking back at the days coming up to and including my first infusion, I have focused deeply on the tactical (logistics of wrapping up work, thinking thru the impact of finances, etc.) not the intergalactic (cancer, perhaps?).  There was just too much to do for the distraction of fear right now; as a single dad, my boys in particular were my greater concern. Clarifying and prepping for treatment was the best course of action.

Unintended Journeys

[ Below is the email I sent out to my extended team of colleagues at work before going on medical leave of absence. After reflecting on my son Sidd’s comment below, I decided the notion of “deforestation” is one I like when thinking of the journey I was about to make. For me, it conveyed that I should notice what in my life is not needed, what is distracting, versus what is important and central to happiness and success. Time will tell how well I apply these lessons. ]

Hi Team,

As you will come to learn I am taking a medical leave of absence, and I would rather not have you waste cycles speculating what and why, as that is distracting, in my opinion.

When Was the Last Time You Bit Your Fork?

The above question was the first of many I asked across two summers working at Touch of Nature, a summer camp for physically and mentally challenged. Each question resulted in a breakthrough. Each breakthrough was puzzling on its own, yet combined, they created a multifaceted, profound epiphany.

Seriously, ask yourself - "how long has it been since you bit your own fork?" If you are able bodied, the answer is probably never. Truly never.